-out.
It will happen.
Eventually.
And I'm left standing.
In the darkness.
And I feel like.
A fool.
Ponder the day gone.
As shadows fall on my mind.
They whisper in my head.
"You're not alone now,
You've got a friend."
I've got a friend in me.
Perhaps it's better in the light of dawn?
"Can we even make it that long?"
"Calm down, I'm not
going crazy, and
I'm not alone.
I've got me...."
Sunday, April 26, 2009
"Light (003)" - Written 16/04/09
My eyes burn.
I can't see them.
Shades and shapes
in the darkness
watch me like Gods.
This is my Temple,
where I pay my tribute,
serve my Lords
in the light.
I follow the script.
Observe. My piers
go through the motions,
muscle memories of years
gone by.
Still new and fresh,
I wish to impress,
so I laugh 'til I suffocate,
I drown in my tears.
The spotlight grips me by the throat-
Perform until the light goes-
I can't see them.
Shades and shapes
in the darkness
watch me like Gods.
This is my Temple,
where I pay my tribute,
serve my Lords
in the light.
I follow the script.
Observe. My piers
go through the motions,
muscle memories of years
gone by.
Still new and fresh,
I wish to impress,
so I laugh 'til I suffocate,
I drown in my tears.
The spotlight grips me by the throat-
Perform until the light goes-
"Noise (002)" - Written 16/04/09
From my dark hollow
I hear them.
My audience pouring in.
The clatter of feet,
shuffling seats,
phones still switched on,
and I know
Not long until
the opening act,
when I put on my mask
and start the performance.
Oh I'll speak,
I'll shout, I'll scream,
all for those who watch me.
Whispers and muffled
conversations, and "Ssh!"
will erupt from them all,
and my ears will ring
to drown out the sound
of myself, in costume, standing,
alone in a hall.
I hear them.
My audience pouring in.
The clatter of feet,
shuffling seats,
phones still switched on,
and I know
Not long until
the opening act,
when I put on my mask
and start the performance.
Oh I'll speak,
I'll shout, I'll scream,
all for those who watch me.
Whispers and muffled
conversations, and "Ssh!"
will erupt from them all,
and my ears will ring
to drown out the sound
of myself, in costume, standing,
alone in a hall.
"Introduction (001)" - Written 18/03/09
Ladies and Gentlemen,
put your hands together please
for our very newest performer
as he makes his way to the stage.
He will be under-dressed,
his skin near blue
and covered in mess from
the dark, wet tubes
that he barely crawled,
and that we pulled him through.
He's a little on the small side now,
but just you wait and see-
He'll be a star someday,
he will be! Watch carefully.
Today's audience will see him grow,
and they will get to know
every detail of his fame,
from glossy covered magazines.
So follow his career a bit,
and tweak and change and reshape it
so he follows our profession's convention,
rather than learning to question.
The stage is a drug you see-
He'll be hooked on it, shortly.
put your hands together please
for our very newest performer
as he makes his way to the stage.
He will be under-dressed,
his skin near blue
and covered in mess from
the dark, wet tubes
that he barely crawled,
and that we pulled him through.
He's a little on the small side now,
but just you wait and see-
He'll be a star someday,
he will be! Watch carefully.
Today's audience will see him grow,
and they will get to know
every detail of his fame,
from glossy covered magazines.
So follow his career a bit,
and tweak and change and reshape it
so he follows our profession's convention,
rather than learning to question.
The stage is a drug you see-
He'll be hooked on it, shortly.
"Letter. to Some. One. else" - Written 27/03/09
If thoughts were easy to arrange,
why would I bother writing?
I wouldn't be tugging on my hair.
I certainly wouldn't be grating my head
against a wall, just because it lasts longer
than one scarlet smack on the brickwork.
Pretty, slimy stains, trickling down the paint.
I'd have someone here,
my best friend,
to beat me until I can't feel anything
until I'm barely breathing,
and I'd smile and nod
telling all the accusers,
and everyone who wants to lump me in
with some category or another
to Fuck Off.
It's okay for you.
You're an idiot.
Haven't had a single thought.
Never will.
And then you'll die.
Would you like to try this?
Let's go. I'll trade.
2 mes. 3 or 4.
Or a hell of a lot more.
The evil me.
Live backwards.
Locked in a brain with
people he likes to hurt.
And Sex.
Never.
Brought.
Anything.
Good.
The child.
Still wants directions.
Path-Etiq-Uette.
The "Real" me?
Who?
He's not here.
Just pretending.
The truth is just a lie.
All the words. are Left. Unsaid.
why would I bother writing?
I wouldn't be tugging on my hair.
I certainly wouldn't be grating my head
against a wall, just because it lasts longer
than one scarlet smack on the brickwork.
Pretty, slimy stains, trickling down the paint.
I'd have someone here,
my best friend,
to beat me until I can't feel anything
until I'm barely breathing,
and I'd smile and nod
telling all the accusers,
and everyone who wants to lump me in
with some category or another
to Fuck Off.
It's okay for you.
You're an idiot.
Haven't had a single thought.
Never will.
And then you'll die.
Would you like to try this?
Let's go. I'll trade.
2 mes. 3 or 4.
Or a hell of a lot more.
The evil me.
Live backwards.
Locked in a brain with
people he likes to hurt.
And Sex.
Never.
Brought.
Anything.
Good.
The child.
Still wants directions.
Path-Etiq-Uette.
The "Real" me?
Who?
He's not here.
Just pretending.
The truth is just a lie.
All the words. are Left. Unsaid.
"would you" - Written 19/02/09
please
wake me up
because
i'm having
the strangest nightmare
wrapped up
in hotel bedsheets
with you
sleeping
across the way
and
my childhood
bears and toys
all climbing the blankets
pushing my legs
my head
and spine
together
to crush me
while I cry out
but my voice
isn't real since
after all
this is
just a dream
from which
would you
please
wake me up
because-
wake me up
because
i'm having
the strangest nightmare
wrapped up
in hotel bedsheets
with you
sleeping
across the way
and
my childhood
bears and toys
all climbing the blankets
pushing my legs
my head
and spine
together
to crush me
while I cry out
but my voice
isn't real since
after all
this is
just a dream
from which
would you
please
wake me up
because-
"UnValentines Day" - Written 14/02/09
Eyes like black-holes
show me stains of
blood. It's always blood
like some royal slaughter
reflected in king's tower.
Birds and flies all sit,
with me in the lemon tree,
daydreaming of cities
and making it big
someday.
They're only fragments,
pieces of life, and who knows?
Am I even alive?
But I lived. Remember I did.
Trying to smile,
when my old arms
grew too tired, trying
to rock my child to sleep
with false pretences
of love, and peace.
The phone chimes
ten times
but it lost all its rings
when the aliens got me,
and the symphony
would no longer sing.
I see nature splashes
when the light is just right,
and when the bomb drops
an umbrella will
be all the protection
I need.
I'll make people feel
like me, outside the door,
and stretch out my arms
with the branches
of my day-dreaming tree.
To see the world
any other way
is watching pornography.
You look through
the eyes of a girl
your eyes never see.
show me stains of
blood. It's always blood
like some royal slaughter
reflected in king's tower.
Birds and flies all sit,
with me in the lemon tree,
daydreaming of cities
and making it big
someday.
They're only fragments,
pieces of life, and who knows?
Am I even alive?
But I lived. Remember I did.
Trying to smile,
when my old arms
grew too tired, trying
to rock my child to sleep
with false pretences
of love, and peace.
The phone chimes
ten times
but it lost all its rings
when the aliens got me,
and the symphony
would no longer sing.
I see nature splashes
when the light is just right,
and when the bomb drops
an umbrella will
be all the protection
I need.
I'll make people feel
like me, outside the door,
and stretch out my arms
with the branches
of my day-dreaming tree.
To see the world
any other way
is watching pornography.
You look through
the eyes of a girl
your eyes never see.
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