"Cross My Heart" - Written 20/10/08

You covered up your mess under a sheet,
and gave me an apologetic glance.
I just shrugged - "I'm not much better"
and you asked me to sit on the bed with you.
Your mother always told you a messy room
indicates a scatterred brain, but you don't care.
We lay back across the mattress, faces framed
by the shadows from the window pane.

We were still laying there together,
staring at the stars and fragments of dreams,
when your brother came calling
and I had take my friend's dad's taxi home.
We could never bare the nights apart,
our restless dreams, sleeping arms
embracing our pillows, the same quilt
you covered up the mess with.

That was a long time ago,
and you let the mess build up and sit,
still just covering up, hoping to forget it all.
Your new boyfriend in your room,
and you divert his eyes with sex and smiles
and cover me with a blanket of time.
He ignores the baggage in the corner,
but time can't heal all wounds.

Under my weighted blanket of time,
I can still hear the gasps from you, and him,
I remember the arch of your back,
your breasts pressed firm against my chess.
I mark the spot with my beating blood,
remind myself of you under my blanket of time,
I cross my heart,
and hope to die.

"Sufferance" - Written 08/10/08

I am in a nation of frustration,
My brain pulsating,
My muscles, tendons, bones aching.
Teeth, Jaw, Nerves grating.

I can't stop this losing streak,
When each and every loss every week
I grow weaker and more meek,
And cannot find the release I seek.

Tumbling further on this downward spiral,
A vicious cycle, this sickness is viral.
The anger rising in me is primal,
But conquered by sadness' revival.

Just let me lie here,
I don't want to think anymore.
I've been alone for days.
I'm done with all of this.