"A Year Of Mistakes" - Written 21/03/08

Three-hundred and sixty-five days since I never asked you out,
Three-hundred and sixty days since I wasn't there for you,
Three-hundred and fifty-five days since I had locked myself out,
Three-hundred and fifty days since I heard about you two.

Three-hundred and thirty-five days since I gave up on trying,
Three-hundred and thirty days since I failed to get caught out,
Three-hundred and twenty-five days since I walked away from crying,
Three-hundred and twenty days since you left me, to go south.

I walked out on myself about two-hundred and ninety days ago,
That was when it all went bad, though I didn't know.
I subscribed to another fate, I aimed much too low,
I chose north, the frozen lands, where I could never grow.

Now I sit and write about two-hundred and fifty days before,
When I first wrote about my soul shaking at the core,.
Two-hundred and thirty days ago I stepped through a mentors door,
Convinced her that my going north was all I need and more.

Two-hundred days ago, I visited the south.
One-hundred and ninety-five days ago I returned home with you,
One-hundred and ninety days ago praise bloomed in my mouth,
One-hundred and eighty days ago you left again with crew.

One-hundred and fifty days ago I thought of you and wrote,
One-hundred and forty days ago I saw, to my suprise,
Another venian's beauty sparkle - a sigh caught in my throat.
One-hundred and thirty days ago you still gave no reply.

When, one-hundred days ago, I got tired of waiting for you,
I decided, ninety-five days past, to give a new queen my crown.
Seventy-five days ago I thought my life was through,
When eighty-five days ago the other turned me down.

Sixty days ago I had known how I would do it,
And five days after that I layed my hands upon the tools.
Fifty days ago I the rope wrapped 'round my neck, and fit,
But it snapped when I fell limp, and I learned life is cruel.

About a month ago my bruises were fully healed,
I hid them and not one person knew what I had done.
Twenty-five days ago, my suitcases were sealed,
As I prepared to head north, away from the sun.

Fifteen days ago, I closed a door behind me,
An occupation I hated, I walked out on, finally.
Though consequences of this action were obvious to see,
Another place to earn, when in need, is now gone from me.

Ten days ago I thought of you again, and all I've done,
Thought of the days long passed, locked within each others eyes.
Five days ago my heart still ached over the one
Whom I knew was the reason that my soul gave out these cries.

Yesterday I travelled north, to where my future is.
I tried to just act casual, hide myself, in my pride.
Today I found a small corner, where I could write this,
But not enough days have passed to admit that when I lost you, I died.